A New Chapter Begins...

In 2007, I had just accepted a position as the Communications Director at my church and was serving as a key volunteer in our student ministry. While on a mission trip, I was asked to co-lead the next mission trip we'd be taking our high school students on the following year. I know this seems very menial and not worth much space on a blog posting, but trust me, this is a dot, we'll connect it later. I agreed to help lead the trip, no questions asked. I didn't even know where we were going. But it didn't really matter I was up for the adventure regardless. I soon found out that the trip would be to Baltimore to work with a church plant there. The idea was that our students would see 1) What a church plant was. 2.) What an urban context (that wasn't Indy) looked like, and 3)that the Church and Christianity look a little different outside of the Bible-belt. To prep for the trip, our youth pastor, Scott Ancarrow, took a scout trip to visit the church we'd be working with and find out more of what we'd be doing. Scott grew up in Maryland, and when talking with David, the pastor of the church we'd be working with, found out that fun fact about him, he challenged him by asking "Why aren't you here if you're from here? We need churches in Baltimore." This conversation really resonated with Scott and he began to marinate on the idea of one day returning to Maryland to plant a church. (you might be asking why is this important? I'm getting there, but this is another dot you need to know about.) As we prepped this trip, we did a lot of dialoging about how God was tugging on he and his wife to one day return to Maryland to plant a church. As their call became clearer to them, they started saying things to me like, "When we move to Maryland, you should come with us." And my answer was always, "Sure, find me a job and I'll go" It was easy to say yes to, partly because of my whole no questions go for the adventure attitude and partly because it was a "one day" plan. And everyone knows that "one day" plans are simply dreams and wishful thinking. You don't have to stop and ponder over them because they are far enough in the future that you don't really have to worry about the details just yet. So I didn't. This idea of Maryland became a thing between us, On a bad day in the office, we'd ask, "when do we move to MD?" And it was all this nice happy idea until 2009 when Scott and Amber went through assessment and started making plans to actually leave. It seemed like the "one day" plan had tuned to a concrete, "this is really happening" plan. And this is the moment where I went into a total panic. I hadn't really thought about this, let alone prayed much about it, but they were leaving and were still asking me to come too. So I started asking a lot of tough questions (like, "can i do this?" and "do I even like Maryland?" and "what does God think about all this?"). I talked to some good, wise friends to help confirm that I had any business even thinking about this. I began to pray about all of the life options that were before me. I knew I had 3 choices - move to Maryland, stay in Danville, but take Scott's job, or keep everything the same. I felt lost and so unsure. It was like all 3 roads I could drive down had yellow lights holding me in the murkiness of uncertainty. About 6 months later, I finally felt like God was changing the color to one of the lights... to RED. When Scott announced they were leaving, a lot of people looked to me to step up and take his place as the youth pastor, but everything in me felt like it was the wrong step. So I scratched that from the options, agreed to do youth ministry in the interim until they found the right guy (and I believe they really did find the right guy in who they eventually hired). So, our trio is down to two. (because of your incredible deduction skills you probably know which path I choose, but stay with me). I kept praying and asking for clarity in God's will for my life for another 6 months before the lack of clarity made me so desperate for a word from God on which way he was taking me. So, I took some vacation time to visit the Ancarrows in Baltimore, partly to see my friends, and partly because I just wanted an answer. So I set aside that week in prayer and asked God for that to be the deadline on His silence. (I don't recommend that, but it was where I was at the time) While I was there Scott and Amber took me to see different neighborhoods that could be the location of their plant. I don't know what was looking for, maybe a neon sign in the air saying "move here", but as we drove around the city, everything was just as it was, silent. In a few neighborhoods, I even felt this sense of unease. Was this God shutting the door to Baltimore? Maybe. By the last day of the trip, that was my deduction. The lack of a word from God was surely this light turning red. So I took some time that afternoon to journal and I mourned over the idea of Baltimore and packed my bag back up. It was a nice idea, but if I'd learned anything it was that its not wise for me to move without God's ordaining it. The next morning, we left early for the airport to see a few more neighborhoods they were looking at. As we drove through the city this time, God finally broke his silence and told me "this is where I want you". (I didn't know it at the time, but the part of the city we drove through at this point would be the neighborhood where this new church will be located - how cool!) When I got to the airport, it seemed like a cruel joke. You tell me you want me here right before I get on a plane to leave? Did I just imagine this or make more of something than it was? I landed in Indy more confused than when I left. So, I prayed more and I started fasting once a week. I read through Jeremiah and journaled and prayed. "God did you really just call me to Baltimore?" I needed to be sure before I really trusted it. And over the following six weeks God continued to confirm my call. Like Moses, I kept questioning what God was telling me. "Am I skilled for this?", "What about money?", "What about the fact that I'm single", "What about my health issues?", "What about a place to live?", and so on. But with every question, God responded with, "Lindsay, I've got this. If I'm asking you to do this, I've thought everything through." There was so much peace in those words, "I've got this." The Spirit traded the uncertainty within me for an overwhelming peace. I am called to help plant a church in Baltimore. So, in February, I went through assessment, an intense, awful, yet encouraging week of tests and simulations and was green-lighted to plant. And in May, I accepted a position with the Ancarrow's plant, The Foundry, as their Director of Local Service, Outreach and Children's Ministry. At the end of July, I'll be moving to Baltimore to start a new chapter. As one chapter ends, the next begins....